Abantu bayazi ukuba kuthatha uthando, uthando, inkanuko, ukuthembana, unxibelelwano, njalo njalo ukwenza ubudlelwane busebenze. Ezi zezinye zezona zitena zisisiseko zokwakha ubudlelwane.
Nangona kunjalo, abantu abakubudlelwane bathanda ukulibala malunga okanye ukungagxili kwenyani kwezinye zezinto ezincinci okanye ezisisiseko sobudlelwane obunokuthi ngenene buqinise amaqhina kwaye bomeleze ubudlelwane. Enye yezo zinto iyenzeka bubuhlobo.
Njengoko ingoma kaMichael Bolton isitsho, "Singaba njani abathandi, ukuba asinakuba ngabahlobo?" Ngelixa le iyingoma yengoma kuphela, yenye enentsingiselo eninzi. Ubuhlobo bubaluleke kakhulu kubudlelwane kwaye bunokunceda izibini zomeleze amaqhina ababelana ngazo. Yenye yeebhloko ezininzi ezinceda ukwakha nokomeleza ubudlelwane.
Izinto ezenziwa ngabahlobo ekufanele ukuba sele uyazenza kubudlelwane bakho
Ukonwabela iNkampani yomnye nomnye
Ngaphambi kokuba uthandane, yayingoobani amaqabane akho? Abahlobo bakho! Aba ngabantu obenze yonke into kunye nabo ukusuka ekuchitheni usuku ukuya ebharini ukuya kwipaki yokuzonwabisa. Ukonwabele ukuhlala nabahlobo bakho – kwaye mhlawumbi usenjenjalo.UAlex Wise, ingcaphephe yobudlelwane evela kwisiza sokuthandana saseLoveawake uyaqinisekisa: “Kufuneka ube ngabahlobo neqabane lakho kwaye nikonwabele ngokwenene ukuchitha usuku kunye nokuba wenza ntoni na. Nokuba niyaloba nobabini kuba lelona xesha lokuzonwabisa alithandayo, okanye niye kuthenga izihlangu kuba kukho intengiso, kufuneka nichithe ixesha kunye kwaye niyithanda ngokwenene.”
Ukuchitha ixesha elisemgangathweni kunye nomnye
Abahlobo bafuna ixesha lokuthetha nomnye ngeentsuku zabo, izinto ezibaxhalabisayo kunye nayo nantoni na esengqondweni yabo. Abahlobo bayakwazi ukuba ngabahlobo abangcono ngexesha elilungileyo abalichitha kunye bencokola kwaye besenza izinto ezenziwa ngabahlobo bokwenene.
Ngaphandle bonding phezu izinto ezincinane nokungena kuloo umgangatho omnye-on-enye kunye, kunzima kakhulu ukuqhubeka ukuba nobuhlobo kwaye ugcine ubudlelwane bakho butsha. UAlex ucebisa ngelithi: “Zamani ukuchitha ubuncinane imizuzu engama-30 nincokola ngendlela ebihambe ngayo nobabini yaye nixhasana ngeendaba ezimnandi. Uya kumangaliswa yindlela izibini ezininzi eziphoswa ngayo ukwabelana nabanye, nto leyo enokukhokelela kumgama phakathi kwazo.”
Ukunikezela ngegxalaba ukuze ungqiyame okanye ulile
Iintsuku ezimbi ziyenzeka. Enyanisweni, ziyinxalenye engenakuphepheka yobomi. Akukhathaliseki nokuba omnye wenu ubenosuku olubi emsebenzini ngenxa yokuba umntu osebenza naye ethethe into emdaka kuwe okanye ngenxa yokuba uMakazi wakho uSusie esesibhedlele.Izibini ezitshatileyo kufuneka zibe nobuhlobo apho zinokomelelana xa zibufuna. Iqabane lakho kufuneka lihlale lisazi ukuba ukhona ukuze lithethe ngayo nantoni na emkhathazayo. Nokuba akafuni kuthetha, kufuneka azi ukuba ukhona umxhasa ngexesha lobunzima.
Ukunxibelelana Ngokukhululekileyo Omnye nomnye
Abahlobo bokwenene banokuthetha ngokukhululekileyo nangokunyaniseka omnye komnye. Basenokuziva bekhululekile ukuzityand’ igila kumhlobo wabo ngayo nantoni na yaye balapho ukuze baphulaphule umhlobo wabo ofuna ukunxibelelana nabo.
Kufuneka kube njalo kubudlelwane. Kuya kufuneka uzive ngathi unokuzityand’ igila kwiqabane lakho ngayo yonke into. Kufuneka kwakhona uzive ngathi xa ilixesha lokuba unxibelelane - iqabane lakho liya kukuphulaphula, uzame ukuqonda oko ukuthethayo okanye ukwabelana nabo, kwaye uthathe iimvakalelo okanye izimvo zakho njengezibalulekileyo.
Ngamafutshane, wena kunye neqabane lakho kufuneka nikwazi ukuvakalisa ngokuphandle nangokunyaniseka iimvakalelo, izimvo, kunye neengcinga njengokuba zisenza abahlobo.
Indlela yokwazi ukuba kukho ubuhlobo kubudlelwane bam?
Ukuba ufuna ukwazi ukuba wena kunye neqabane lakho ningabahlobo abalungileyo, phendula nje le mibuzo ilandelayo.
• Ngaba unokuthetha neqabane lakho ngayo nantoni na?
• Ingaba iqabane lakho lithetha ngale nto uyiyo ngokwenene?
• Ngaba uziva ukhululekile ukunxibelelana neqabane lakho?
• Ungathembela kwiqabane lakho xa kufuneka?
• Ngaba uziva ngathi ungalila okanye ungqiyame egxalabeni leqabane lakho xa kufuneka njalo?
• Uyakonwabela ukuchitha ixesha neqabane lakho – nokuba usenza izinto ezincinci?
Ukuba wena kunye neqabane lakho uphendule ewe kule mibuzo, ngoko unobuhlobo obuhle.
Ngaba uthando kunye nenzondelelo akwanelanga?
Umdla awenzeli ubudlelwane obuqinileyo, nangona izisa inkalo ebalulekileyo kubudlelwane obubandakanya ulonwabo, ukuhlangana kunye nokuba nothando.Noko ke, ulwalamano olomeleleyo lufuna okungakumbi kunokuthanda nje inkanuko.
Ubuhlobo buthetha ukwabelana, ukunxibelelana kwaye uhlala unomntu apho kuwe. Ukuba unabantwana kunye okanye uphila ubomi obuxakekileyo, mhlawumbi uyazi kakuhle ukuba inkanuko kubudlelwane bakho ayisoloko ikhona.
Ngokuchasene noko, ubuhlobo yindlela yokubonisa ukuba unenkathalo ngaloo maxesha apho ungakwazi ukububonakalisa ngothando okanye ngothando.
Ukuvula Ithuba Lobuhlobo
Ngokutsho kuka-Alex Wise: "Naluphi na ulwalamano olomeleleyo lufuna ulungelelwaniso olufanelekileyo lothando, inkanuko kunye nobuhlobo. Ngaphandle kolungelelwaniso, ubudlelwane bakho buya kuncipha, nto leyo enokukhokelela ekuthandeni kwaye akukho nto uthembele kuyo. ”
Okanye, unokuba nobuhlobo obuninzi kunye nothando olwaneleyo, olubeka i-damper kwezinye iindawo zobudlelwane bakho.
Ukuze wenze indawo yobuhlobo ngaphandle kokonakalisa eminye imiba yomanyano lwakho, kufuneka ubeke ixesha ngokukodwa lothando okanye ngakumbi ubuhlobo, nokuba kufuneka ucwangcise ixesha.
Umzekelo, unokuhlala usenza ixesha lesidlo sangokuhlwa ixesha lobuhlobo kunye nokuxoxa ngosuku lwakho. Ngokwahlukileyo koko, ixesha elisebhedini unokulisebenzisa kuthando nokuthandana. Okanye, unokufuna ukujonga ukuphuma njengexesha lobuhlobo, kwaye ube nosuku olunye okanye ezimbini zeveki zokuthandana, oku kuthetha ukuba uya kubona imuvi yothando okanye ukonwabele isidlo sekhandlela kwi-bistro yakho encinci oyithandayo.
Nakweyiphi na imeko, kuya kufuneka ufumane indlela yokwenza ubudlelwane bakho kunye nobuhlobo busebenze kunye ukwenza iqhina eliqinileyo. Ungalibali ukuba ubuhlobo obuhle bubandakanya ntoni kwaye uzame ukugcina inqanaba lobuhlobo kunye nesithandwa sakho. Ulwalamano lwakho luya kuvuna imivuzo yale ndibaniselwano inamandla.