Ubomi buzaliswe ziziganeko ezahlukahlukeneyo, ezilungileyo nezimbi. Uqhawulo-mtshato yinto edla ngokubizwa ngokuba liqhina elirhabaxa. Nokuba inkqubo yakho yezomthetho inokuba lula kangakanani ngoncedo lwamagqwetha akho oqhawulo-mtshato, kusenzima ukusinda kuqhawulo-mtshato ngenxa yeemvakalelo ezicinezelayo. Kwaye oku kungokwemvelo kuba ubomi buyatshintsha kwaye kunokuba nzima ukuziqhelanisa neemeko ezintsha, ngakumbi ukuba ubomi bosapho lwakho bebulungile. Ukuqhawulwa komtshato kuluxinzelelo kuyo nayiphi na imeko kwaye kule meko kufuneka ufunde indlela yokujongana neemvakalelo zoqhawulo-mtshato ukuze zingakhuli zibe ziingxaki ezinzima.
Ukuqhawulwa komtshato kukwanxulumene nokutshatyalaliswa kwethemba. Isenza singene ekungaqiniseki, yiloo nto uqhawulo-mtshato lubuhlungu kangaka. Kodwa ngeli xesha kuyimfuneko ukujonga iimvakalelo zakho kwaye ukhangele iindlela zokuphuma. Ngokwendalo, ukupheliswa ngakunye kuyingqayizivele, kodwa kukho iingcebiso eziyimfuneko, enkosi kubo bobabini abasetyhini kunye namadoda ajongana neemvakalelo zoqhawulo-mtshato ngempumelelo.
Fumana iqela lenkxaso
Kubalulekile ukulandelela iimvakalelo zakho, ukuqonda iimvakalelo oba nazo. Kodwa kuyo nayiphi na imeko, ungazami ukubathintela ngento efana namaqabane amaninzi, ukutya kakhulu okanye utywala. Kwaneemvakalelo ezingakhiyo kufuneka zibekho ukuze uzivumele uye phambili. Nangona kunzima kakhulu ukwenza oko ngokwakho. Ngoko ke, luluvo oluhle ukufumana umntu oza kukuxhasa kwaye akuncede uhambe ngolu hlobo. Mhlawumbi iya kuba ngugqirha wengqondo, umhlobo osondeleyo, umntu osebenza naye, okanye isihlobo sakho. Ikwayindlela ebalaseleyo yokufumana nawaphi na amaqela oncedo apho abantu abaneemeko zobomi ezifanayo bahlanganiseneyo. Ukutyhubela amaxesha anzima kunye kulula ngakumbi.Zivumele ukuba uphumle
Kuyinto eqhelekileyo ukudandatheka ebudeni boqhawulo-mtshato. Ngeli xesha, usenokungabi namveliso kangako emsebenzini kwaye ulibale ngobomi bakho bentlalontle. Ukuba yile nto yenzekileyo kuwe, kungcono ukuba uthathe ikhefu elincinci kunye nokutshintsha indawo. Umzekelo, yiya kwindawo ethandekayo apho unokuphumla kwaye uhlaziye. Kuya kuba kuhle ukutyelela indawo ongazange ube kuyo ngaphambili ukuze ube neemvakalelo ezakhayo.
Zinyamekele wena nomzimba wakho
Enye yeendlela zokuphelisa iimvakalelo ezingalunganga kukwenza umthambo. Apha ungalahla yonke intlungu yakho, umsindo, intukuthelo, ukukhungatheka. Ngaphandle koko, ukomelela nako kunempembelelo entle kumzimba wakho. Vumela u-ex abe nomona ngesimo sakho esitsha. Kungqiniwe ukuba umsebenzi womzimba nawo uphucula imo. Uqhawulo-mtshato lithuba elihle kakhulu lokuzilungiselela ulwandle okanye ixesha lasebusika. Kwakhona, musa ukulibala malunga nabanye, ngamaxesha athile zama ukuzilungiselela iinkqubo zokuphumla, ezifana ne-massage okanye i-spa care. Nxiba iimpahla ezintle; le yinto eyakukholisa amehlo akho kwaye yandise ukuzithemba.
Zama ukunxibelelana kancinci neqabane lakho.
Nangona uqhawulo-mtshato lungekapheli, zama ukunciphisa ukunxibelelana nabantu abaza kuba-ex kungekudala. Thetha kuphela ngezihloko ezibalulekileyo ezinxulumene nokupheliswa kwakho kunye nekamva labantwana bakho. Oku kuyimfuneko ukuphepha iingxabano ezinzulu kunye nokunciphisa idrama. Kamva, xa ixesha lihamba kwaye iimvakalelo ziyancipha, unokunxibelelana njengabahlobo bakudala, kodwa okokuqala, ngelixa isilonda sisentliziyweni yakho, kungcono ukuhlehla.Funda ukuxolela
Ukuxolela yeyona nto ibalulekileyo yokuhlangabezana noqhawulo-mtshato olubuhlungu. Nokuba kunzima kangakanani na, mxolele owakwakho. Kuba okunene kuyimfuneko kuqala kuni, kungekhona kuye. Ngokubanzi, ukuba usacaphukile, oku akuchaphazeli ubomi bakhe konke. Kodwa kunempembelelo enamandla eyonakalisayo kubomi bakho. Ayikuvumeli ukuba uqhubele phambili, ayikuvumeli ukwakha ubomi obutsha. Isithuko bubumnyama obutshabalalisa umphefumlo. Uxolelo yindlela eya empilweni. Nokuba ikwenza buhlungu kakhulu, zama ukuyiyeka, kwaye uya kuziva ungcono. Uxolelo yinto eyenza ubomi bakho bube lula kwaye buzaliseke.
Yekela ihambe
Zinike ixesha lokuchacha kumava okwenzakala. Kwaye emva koko uyeke ixesha elidlulileyo lakho. Ukuba ityala liphelile, lixesha lokujongana neemvakalelo emva koqhawulo-mtshato. Okokuqala, kufuneka uziqonde kwaye ufumanise ukuba zeziphi izizathu ezikhokelela ekubeni ulwalamano lwakho lwaphulwa. Bobabini basoloko bebekek’ ityala ngongquzulwano. Hlalutya izenzo zakho kwaye uzame ukukhangela into oyenzileyo engalunganga. Eli linyathelo elibalulekileyo, njengoko liya kunceda ukuthintela iimpazamo kwixesha elizayo. Mhlawumbi ufuna uncedo lwengcali. Kwaye xa ubushushu bufa, unokude ubuze i-ex yakho, malunga nokuba yintoni kanye kanye ingxaki yakho.Khulisa ukucinga okulungileyo
Unedrama eyaneleyo ebomini bakho, kwaye kufuneka uqale ukugxila kwizinto ezilungileyo. Umzekelo, ukufunda iincwadi ezikhuthazayo, ukuncokola nabantu abanobubele, ukwenza into ekunika amandla, ukufumana into ozonwabisa ngayo kunye nokufumana into entle kwizinto ezincinci. Ukuba unikel’ ingqalelo kwiinkalo ezintle, awuyi kuba nalo nexesha lokuqaphela ukuba ubomi bakho butshintshe ngokukhawuleza kangakanani na.
Ziqeqeshe nje ukuba ucinge ngezinto ezintle nangamaxesha anzima. Kwaye uncwadi olukhethekileyo luya kukunceda kule nto. Apha ngezantsi kukho uluhlu lweencwadi ezimalunga nokujongana neemvakalelo ezinzima zoqhawulo-mtshato:
1. “Akukho Mntu Unetyala” nguBob Hoffman
Zininzi iincwadi ezithetha ngendlela yokusinda kwiimvavanyo zobomi. Kodwa le ncwadi yodwa kuba ichaza ubuchule bombhali obuphuhliswe nguMnu Hoffman. Indlela yokusebenza echazwe kuyo, Inkqubo yeQuadrinity, ikuvumela ukuba ucinge ngokugqithisileyo ngobomi bakho kwaye ujonge izinto eziqhelekileyo kwimbono entsha. Le ncwadi ibandakanya izikhokelo zomoya kunye nokunxibelelana kwengqondo. Le ndlela, eyenziwe ngo-1967, sele incede abantu abaninzi ukuba basinde emzabalazweni ebomini.
2. "I-Conscious Uncoupling: I-5 Amanyathelo okuphila ngolonwabo emva koko" nguKatherine Woodward Thomas.
Uninzi lweencwadi ezithetha ngendlela yokuhlangabezana noqhawulo-mtshato lujoliswe kumabhinqa. Kodwa le ncwadi iluncedo olukhulu kuye wonke umntu! UKatherine wabelana ngobulumko bobomi obunceda ukufumana uxolo kunye nokuvisisana kwi-5 amanyathelo. Emva kokufunda le ncwadi, ubomi bakho buya kuba nengqondo ngakumbi kwaye bucinge.
3. “Izaqhwithi azinakwenzakalisa isibhakabhaka: iNdlela yamaBhuda ngoqhawulo-mtshato” nguGabriel Cohen.
Le ncwadi ibhalwe kwibali lombhali, kwaye ikwaqulethe iingcebiso ezahlukeneyo eziya kunceda ukujamelana neemvakalelo kunye nokuntywila ekukhuleni ngokomoya.
4. “Ukuqhekeka kwiSiqwenga esinye: Uhambo lweOptimist enye ngokusebenzisa isihogo soqhawulo-mtshato” nguStacy Morrison.
Le ncwadi ibhalwe ngamava obuqu ombhali, naye kwafuneka anyamezele uqhawulo-mtshato olubuhlungu. Ibhalwe ngoburharha, isifundisa ukuba siphile ubomi obutsha, ukuthanda, ukuxolela nokukholelwa kuwe.
5. “Ukukoyisa Ukwahlukana Kwakho: Indlela Yokuguqula Ilahleko Ebuhlungu ibe Yeyona nto Ilungileyo Kwakha Kwenzeke Kuwe” nguSusan J. Elliott
Le yincwadi ebalaseleyo enika iingcebiso ezisebenzayo malunga nendlela yokususa ukuxhomekeka ngokweemvakalelo kumntu wangaphambili kwaye uyeke ukugxila kuye.
6. "Le nto Ndikuvumela Ukuba Uhambe" nguHeidi Priebe
Uqhawulo-mtshato lunzima, ngakumbi xa umthanda lo mntu. Incwadi kaHeidi Priebe inceda ukuvumela umntu okushiyileyo ukuba ahambe kwaye asinde kwiimvakalelo zokubulala.
7. "Into Entle, Eyoyikekayo" nguJen Waite
Enye incwadi ibhalwe ngembali yobuqu yombhali. UJen kwafuneka afunde ngokungathembeki komyeni wakhe-sociopath kwaye anyamezele uqhawulo-mtshato oloyikekayo. Emsebenzini wakhe ubalisa ngamava akhe nento eyamncedayo ukuba aphile kwimeko enzima.
8. "Kwenzeka yonke imihla: Ibali le-All-Too-True" ngu-Isabel Gilles
Yincwadi ebhalelwe abo babeke okuninzi emtshatweni, ngokungakhathali, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha ide ibe yingozi kubo. Kuya kukwenza ukuba ulahle ukuzisizela kwaye uyeke ukubandezeleka, kwaye kuya kunceda ukuphuhlisa i-positivity enengqondo.
Emva kwelizwi
Uqhawulo-mtshato lunokumtshabalalisa umntu. Kodwa esi ayisosiphelo sobomi. Hlala ukholelwa kwikamva eliqaqambileyo. Ngenxa yokuba kukho iimeko xa ukuze kwakhiwe into entsha, kufuneka udilize yonke into endala. Uqhawulo-mtshato lixesha lokuphinda ucinge ngobomi bakho, usebenze ngeempazamo, utshintshe imikhwa emibi kwaye wandise ukucinga kwakho. Abantu abaninzi sele bephumelele kwezo ziganeko zikhwankqisayo ebomini babo, qiniseka ukuba nawe uya kukwazi ukuhlangabezana nazo.